How Do I Cope?

He couldn't have died at a worse time.
I know that's wrong of my to say, but it's true. I pushed my hair out of my eyes, glancing at the growing pile of bills. How would I ever pay them now? His military pension was the only thing that had given us hope. That was  gone now. My thoughts were interrupted by a loud cry. I went up the stairs and into the second bedroom. Scooping up my one month old baby. Looking into her sweet, innocent face I realized that she would never know her father. A weight was laid on my shoulders as I became aware that the way this tiny baby thought about her father completely rested on me. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the diaper bag and headed out to the car that was waiting outside. Clutching my daughter close to me I wiped a tear from my eye. The ceremony was short. One of my husband's close friends presented me with the folded flag. Even though he's not supposed to, he leaned down and gave me a hug before returning to his place. I stared stoically at the casket as it was lowered into the ground. The musket fire rang through my body with each shot. The noise scared my daughter and she started to cry. I tried to calm her down, but it was no use. I couldn't take it anymore. I started to cry too. Sinking to my knees I held my head in one hand. Clearly surprised by my outburst, my daughter stopped crying and just looked at me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my husband's friend. I could tell by his face that he wanted to comfort me. My mom and sister stepped forward. My sister took the baby from me and my mom held me close to her.
After the ceremony everyone came up to offer me their condolences. I simply nodded, shook hands, and hugged them. When I thought I had gotten through everyone I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see my husband's friend. Without saying anything he enveloped me in a hug. He didn't offer any words of sympathy that wouldn't do anything. Nothing would bring my husband back. With a comforting arm around my shoulders he led me and my daughter back to the car.

Prayer Is Powerful

He watched, helpless, as the door closed behind her. Placing his head in his hands he paced back and forth in front of the door. Helplessly he sat down in a chair and prayed. He prayed for himself, he prayed for his wife, but most importantly, he prayed for his unborn child. Mindlessly twisting his ring around his finger, he prayed for his future. He prayed for strength in all the possible outcomes. Silently a single tear traced it's way across his face. He let it fall, he didn't care, nothing mattered right now but his wife. Not caring what those who walked by thought, he fell onto his knees and sobbed. Crying out for the Lord, crying out for His strength. Most people just passed him, but one woman stopped. She watched for a moment, saying a silent pray of her own. She hesitated for a moment then went over and placed a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up and saw her compassionate smile. She knelt beside and started praying, though she knew not what for. A quiet peace came over him, a peace that passes all understanding. They sat together in silence for what seemed like hours. At last the door opened. He stood up and faced the doctor.
"It's a girl," he said nodding his head. Placing a hand on his shoulder the doctor reassured him her could see his wife soon, but if he wanted to, he could see his daughter now.
"Yeah!"
The doctor retreated back into the operating room and returned moments later holding a bright pink bundle. He took his daughter in his arms and looked down at her peaceful sleeping face.. Turning to the woman behind him, he reached for her hand, "thank you so much for praying with me."
But when he turned around she wasn't there. In that moment he knew she had been an angel sent from God.
A few months went by and the man and his wife are scrambling around the house after their little girl, Angel.

All Around Me

In my Writing II class we had to write a free verse poem on a serious subject. I chose to write about the way people tend to respond to other people and how they respond to other people's responses to them. The following is what I came up with:

All around me people judge

They judge the way I look

They judge the way I talk

They judge what I believe

All around me people laugh

They laugh because I fell

They laugh because of my laugh

They laugh because of the way I dress

All around me are jackles

They find joy in other's suffering

But then they get upset,

 When people do the same to them

Midnight Emotions

Midnight. Thoughts flooding my mind. Emotions running wild. My body shook, my eyes were blurry, my mind a fog. I rolled over and grabbed my phone. I texted the only person I knew I could. "I could use a hug right now," was all I needed to say. He talked to me, he let me talk at him. I told him things I'd never admitted to anyone. Though tears continued to flow my spirits were lifted. I told him I never wanted to lose him and he said I didn't have a choice: I'm stuck with him forever. After jokes and tears and virtual hugs I started feeling better. My eyes were dry, my smile back. 

It's an amazing feeling knowing that there is even one person who will make you feel better whenever you're feeling down. You may have differing opinions on certain topics, but when you have a mutual respect for each other those differences don't really matter. I love having a friend who will talk with me in the middle of the night until I feel better because he knows I would do the same for him. Friendships like these don't just happen. They're meant to be, predestined by God. Friendships like these aren't easily torn apart, they will stand the test of time. Friendships like these are the ones everyone longs for, but sadly not everyone has. When you have a friend like this they aren't just your best friend, they're your family. Because family isn't defined by blood, family is defined by the people you trust enough to love the way you love your family. Even if you move far away those bonds will hold because not even distance can break the bonds of a family.