Writer's Block

Staring at the vast whiteness my mind starts to blur. What to say, what to do? Nothing to say, nothing to do. The white desert stretches far beyond me, taunting me, daring me to vanquish it. Can I vanquish it? I’m not sure, but there’s one way to find out. I pick up my pen and paper and wrack my brain. How to vanquish this white desert? A little thought flitters through my mind like a butterfly through the wind. I catch it and stare at it, trying to make it better. But before I can it flies away again.

Ready

I look down at my wrinkled hands and sighed. How’d I end up like this? It seemed like yesterday I was five and running around with friends. I look out the window and see myself, at seven, running around the yard trailing a kite, smiling, laughing. It’s been a while since I’ve laughed like that. I look again but this time I see myself at sixteen sitting on a blanket with my past husband, also sixteen. I smile sadly thinking of him. I look at my mirror and see myself, old, wrinkled, and ready. I sigh quietly, closing my eyes.

Happy Birthday Erin

There’s a lady in the kitchen, what is she doing? She is cooking amazing food!

There’s a lady in the living room, what is she doing? She is playing with the little kids, and having tons of fun.

There’s a lady in the car, what is she doing? She is driving me everywhere, anywhere and everywhere.

There’s a lady in my house, who is she? She is my sister, and I love her.

She is beautiful, and smart, and amazing. She is a very Godly woman who I love hanging out with.

She is Erin, and she is now nineteen.

My Mom

What is my mom? She is kind, she is loving, she is helpful.

What is my mom? She is a helping hand when I’m in need, she is a guide through this world.

What is my mom? She is patient, she is persistent, she is productive.

What is my mom? She is smart (like super smart), she is Godly, she is beautiful.

Who is my mom? She is a daughter, she is a wife, she is a mother.

She takes on every day with a smile and she ends it with one too.

I love you Mom! Happy Mother’s Day.

Lost and Alone, Found and Loved

I sit alone in the darkness and shadows. I wish I'd been more careful, I wish I hadn't left what I had. What I had was good, and right. But now I sit here, alone again, with nothing left to show. Nothing to show for the hard work I've done, for all my pain and sorrow. But what’s this? I hear my name being called. Being called with love and kindness. I look up and see His smiling face, His beautiful smiling face. He reaches out his hand. He helps me stand, He helps me walk, He helps me live. 

Should I Write More?

No matter how long I run, no matter how far I go, my problems always seem to catch up with me. Whenever I stop, for even a night, a break, a breath, they get closer. I’ve spent my whole life running from my past. I’ll never know when, if at all, I’ll stop running. I want an escape but there will never be one. I wish I could stop, but if I do I will suffer the consequences. I can never stop running, never.

“You’ll never understand the trouble I’ve been in,” Rona yelled at me, “there’s nothing you can do to fix this!”

“You’ll never know if you don’t give me a chance,” I yelled back.

“You don’t get a chance, this is my problem, not yours!”

“At least tell me what happened.”

Rona turned and walked closer to me until her nose was an inch away from mine, and looked me right in my eye. “I have been running from my past, my problems, all my life. I’ve done things that I wish I’d never done. There is nothing I can tell you that someone else can’t” she spun on her heel and started to storm off.

“How long have you been running?”

Rona turned around and looked me in the eye, her face looked sad and old, “ten years. I’ve been running since I was twelve.”

A Random Drabble

I’ve spent my whole life running, always running, never stopping. I’ve never known what I’m running from, the law, an old friend, a relative? I’ve ran with my dad, wherever he went, I went. It’s still that way; it will always be that way.  We scrounge for money because my dad doesn’t have a job. I want to stop, settle down, buy a house, make some permanent friends, get a real education, but my dad says it isn’t safe. He says something bad would happen. I’m only twelve, I don’t want to die, I don’t want Daddy to die either.